“Would you like to go to NYC for New Year’s Eve?” he asked.
“Sure. Why not,” she said.
And so, they held hands.
“What is your favorite color dead leaf?” he asked.
“Orange,” she said.
And so, they dated.
“Will you marry me?” he asked.
“Have another beer,” she said.
And so, they laughed.
“He asked me to marry him, is that okay?” she asked.
“About time. It’s your life,” her children said.
And so, she said yes.
“Does Bastille Day work for you?” he asked.
“Definitely,” she said.
And so, they were married.
“Will you hand me the remote?” he asked.
“Here ya go,” she said.
And so, they smiled and grew old together.
Hey, everybody — did you hear she’s writing a new book?
No, really? That’s so exciting!
Who? Who’s writing a new book?
Penguin #1 (Reginald):
The lady who writes this blog, dummy!
Penguin #2 (Matilda):
What’s it about? Does it have a penguin hero?
Penguin #3 (Archibald):
Oh boy! A penguin hero! I can’t wait to read it!
Don’t be silly, Archibald! This blogger writes about human beings, because she is one, and she was taught to write about what she knows. She doesn’t know anything about us.
Oh drat. No penguin hero. Then why did you call us here today?
Yes, Reginald, I agree with Archibald — if it’s not about us . . . what is this new book about?
It’s about a woman named, Annie Mae Steinberg from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Her friends called her Mae.) The story begins in the late 1800s, when she travels west to South Dakota to become an actress on the stage of the Gem Theater. The Gem is located in a mining town called Deadwood.
Deadwood? O-o-o-h . . . that sounds scary!
Yes, it does sound frightening. Was she all alone out there?
Completely. She left all her friends and family back in Philadelphia to have her own adventure. You see, Mae was a dreamer . . . a bit like you, Archibald. But, fate stepped in and completely altered her grand plans.
Oh no. How? Why? What did fate do to her? I’m beginning to like this Mae human.
Me too! Tell us more, please.
I can’t . . . the book’s not finished . . . the blogger human is still writing it. We’ll just have to wait until it’s published.
Ya know what, Reginald? You suck! You called us all over here to share your big news, and now you tell us — you can’t tell us! What a jerk!
Now, now. Don’t be so hard on Reggie — he hasn’t been the same since he lost that part in “Penguins of Madagascar.”
Reginald’s head droops as he walks away:
Thanks a lot, Matilda. Just for that, I won’t tell you what the book is called, and you’ll never be able to find it to read. So there!
That’s not fair! I want to read about Mae. Sorry for calling you a jerk, Reginald.
I’m sorry too. You would have been the best actor in that movie — honest! Please tell us, Reggie.
Reginald turned, his ego restored, and with his head held high, declared:
Please return here at various intervals for updates on this human blogger’s progress with Mae’s Revenge. The target release date is early fall, 2017.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE ! MAY 2017 BE YOUR MOST JOYFUL YET!
(For those who have seen The Sound of Music – this will make sense. If you haven’t – watching it would make a lovely New Year’s Eve activity!)
Melanie Hamilton Wilkes:
Oh my goodness!
Dearest Aunt Pittypat—that awful man said I
was too unattractive to grope!
Whatever will I do?
Fiddle -dee-dee, Melanie—simply do not cast your
vote for that brute!
* * * Problem solved* * *
It is almost autumn in the northeastern United States. Two more days.
There are no more bright green leaves splashing against the hot summer skies.
There are only tired, slowly drying, brownish remnants drooping from transitioning boughs.
There are no beautiful crimson, orange and yellow leaves speckling the trees. Not yet.
Nature is at one of its awkward stages. The in-between time. The time between fond remembrance and eager anticipation.
I hate this time of year. It’s like being eleven again. Not good. Not old enough to have a boyfriend or girlfriend—but too old to play doctor with any friend.
C’mon, nature. Get on with it. Fall!